FOR TEENS ONLY
(Parents, don’t read this–see ‘parents’ section, below)
I have been working with teens for a really long time (and I have teenagers of my own), so I get it: Your parents are crazy at least some of the time. Ok, most of the time. I know. I agree. Honestly, a lot of the time, parents get in the way of their kids getting good help. I think it’s well meaning, I really do. You may or may not agree.
All the time I get phone calls and emails from teens looking for therapy for themselves. I take it as a sign that I must be doing something right that teens themselves are searching for therapy. Either way, if you’re going to get therapy to get help dealing with the challenging stuff that’s going on in your life, including your parents, you’re going to need to get them on board.
I speak parent.
I’m pretty good at understanding what it is they’re concerned about and at figuring out why they’re giving you a hard time. In fact, I’ll probably be concerned about some of those same things. In providing therapy for teens, what we need is to find ways of sorting through those concerns and figuring out how we can get your parents to help make things better.
I can help you get get mom and dad (or mom or dad, or mom and mom, or dad and dad, or mom and dad and step dad, or mom and dad and mom’s girlfriend and grandma and Aunt Stephanie who lives downstairs) on board.
COMING SOON! How to Resist Peer Pressure Without Being Targeted
COMING SOON! Does My Teen Have an Eating Disorder?
Subscribe to our Newsletter
Helping Couples, Families and Kids Heal & Grow
Because Your Happiness Matters
Therapy for teens doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom
If anybody’s going to therapy it’s a pretty safe bet they’ve got heavy stuff to deal with. It’s silly to deny that. But that doesn’t have to make the therapy dark and dreary. We can take the heavy stuff seriously and get to work on it. We deal with heavy stuff all the time. We have to be honest about what’s not working and get serious about fixing it. Maybe fixing it will involve sadness and anger, but it can also come with a sense of humor.
Therapy for teens is about more than problems
As we said, it’s usually problems that bring teens to therapy. But at its best, therapy for teens is an amazing place to help figure out who you are and what kind of life you want to build. In fact, doing that, even if it means taking a break from talking about the problems directly, can often be the very best way to deal with those problems.
I’m not old and stiff
I’ve been around the block enough times to have the skills and experience as a therapist and in life to have gotten good at this (and enough to help your parents feel satisfied that you’re seeing someone qualified). But, let’s just say… I’m not a prudish old fogie. I’m not going to greet you from behind a desk, take endless notes (or any notes, most likely) or sit through your session with a giant copy of the Diagnostic Manual on my lap asking “and how do you feel about that?” I will not freak out on you about anything that’s going on in your life.
So, do I have to bring my mom?
While parents are not always involved in therapy for teens, it is usually important
to include family in some way. This is to be sure they are in the loop in terms of
how to best support you and what you are making happen in and out of therapy. You
will be in the driver’s seat as much as possible in your therapy decisions. What’s
best for you can look like a lot of different things -
And what about confidentiality in therapy?
With almost anything that comes up in therapy, including therapy for teens, it stays in the room—not to be shared with anyone including your parents.
Ok, so I said almost anything. Firstly, if you’re talking about seriously hurting
yourself or someone else, or are involved in something life threatening, I’m going
to call your parents (and maybe 9-
The short of it: There are some things that need to be secret, some things that can’t be, and some things that fall in a grey area. For those, we’ll figure it out together (and never go behind your back—no matter how many times mom calls begging me to do so).
What about meds?
Sometimes people ask about medications. I don’t require, push, or reject medications. Sometimes they’re incredibly helpful. Other times, not so much. And they always come with side effects and very real consequences. Ultimately it’s up to you and your parents, and I’ll help everyone decide what’s best.
It should be noted that I don’t prescribe meds (only a doctor or nurse practitioner can do that). I know a few good ones who can work closely with us if need be.
FOR PARENTS ONLY
(Teens, don’t read this see “teens” section above)
Your kid is crazy. It’s not your imagination. I do a lot of therapy with teens, and teenagers talk to me a lot in therapy about what they’re dealing with–depression, anxiety, school, eating problems, bullying, trauma, preparing for college, grades, sex and sexuality. One of the greatest challenges of parenting teenagers is that there’s a lot to worry about, but you rarely have the whole story and they don’t always seem interested in getting help.
The first appointment:
Although I do get a fair number of calls and emails from teens who’ve searched for therapy and found me online themselves and want to make an appointment (which I do once their parents are on board), plenty of parents call to ask about therapy and are nervous about getting their kid to go along. What I always say in this case is that if you can get them to show up for the first appointment, my job is to take it from there. Part of the skill of being a therapist who works with adolescents is to figure out how to connect in the first session and help them see the value in coming back next week, and I have a pretty good success rate with that.
As far as making that first appointment happen, honestly, you’ve got to do whatever it takes. Be serious with your kid about what your concerns are, let them know you’re asking them to come in once and they don’t need to be ready to commit to more than that. Honor the fact that, however involved in the therapy you end up being, ultimately, this is an important relationship that will be deeply personal to them (at least if it’s going to work). You need a therapist you feel comfortable with, who you trust will take things seriously and will really help your kid, but you’ve also got to get your teenager to sign on. If it makes sense, share this website with them (also on and even invite them to email or call Free Your Mind Counseling themselves to talk about what the work would look like. And in a pinch, there’s nothing wrong with begging or bribery to help make that first session happen. Seriously.
What the heck is wrong with my kid?
Parents get a reputation for being disconnected from their kid’s struggles, but I’ve found that doesn’t usually match up with the reality. Teenagers can be legitimately confusing (and sometimes that’s because they want to be confusing), but plenty of parents are involved in their teens lives and still struggle to connect with what’s going on or, more relevantly, to help.
What’s important to know about how I see teenagers’ emotionality is that I don’t just blow problems off as “teenage angst” or “it’s just a phase.” Sure, teens can have and emotional outbursts that are hard to explain, but much of the time (much more than gets credited) what’s behind that “moodiness” is some very real pain that needs some very real attention.
Do I come to the session? Will I know what’s being talked about?
Teenagers fall in a funny sort of in-
On the other hand, teenagers generally need space from parents to have room to talk about things they don’t know how to talk about with their parents (or don’t want to talk about with their parents). Everyone deserves some privacy in their emotional lives.
To be clear: There are some things that just aren’t going to be kept secret. I’m honest and upfront with everyone (including teens) about that. If a teenager is talking about hurting him or herself, or someone else, or is involved in a serious, dangerous situation, I’m going to bring their parents into the loop. Other things need to be kept private, even if mom and dad really, really want to know. And then there’s the “grey area”. Of course this can be challenging for parents. Often they’re worried, or want to be sure that certain issues are being talked about (and that the therapist even knows they’re happening). There’s likely some delicate navigation that needs to happen, and my job is to lead that process. I work with teens to talk through the consequences of sharing information versus not, the pros and cons of secrets, and understanding what parents may feel when they are not included in some vital happenings in their kids’ lives. I do that with respect for everyone and transparency. It’s delicate at times. It should be.
You are an important part of your child’s therapy.
You can be crucial in supporting your child around what they are working on and towards. While you might not always be physically present, your support matters and we will be in communication as much as you, your child, and I decide is appropriate. Sometimes coming in for sessions will be needed, either alone or with the whole family. At the same time, we want this place to be a safe zone for your child so we work hard to be sure that happens. Family sessions do not have to be horrible. We want to create something positive and meaningful in our time together so you can feel good about it when you walk out of here.
Are you going to medicate my child?
If you have additional questions, or are ready to schedule an appointment, Contact Me Today! Because Your Happiness Matters.
Enter Your Email
Learn More About Therapy for Teens
Curious What Our Clients Are Saying?
“Searching for the right counselor is like searching for a needle in a haystack.
I'm here to tell you that Free Your Mind Counseling Services has the right counselor,
Grace. Grace provides non-
“Grace Moran is incredible at what she does. She is patient, professional, accommodating,and experienced. I would highly recommend her to any family or individual seeking counseling services!”
“Very easy to talk to. Non judgmental, kind, patient and wise beyond her years. Excellent confidante and counselor.”
“Grace is a highly qualified and competent therapist within the community. She offers an environment of safety and trust which is essential in the healing therapeutic process. She has the ability to empathize with her clients and facilitate a process of growth and healing.”
“For me finding a therapist was very difficult, It never felt quite right, I was always missing a connection, then I met Grace. I had finally found the person that heard me and understood me. She was exactly who I was looking for and what I needed. Yes she is kind, dedicated, educated and professional, but what I love the most is her passion for helping others. Grace will always be a part of my life.”
“I feel very comfortable working with Grace and that’s a rarity for me. I do listen
to everything we talk about even though sometimes I’m not willing to take it in at
that moment, and I always reflect on our sessions. I truly appreciate the fact that
Grace has never given up on me. She continues to provide me with new perspective,
faith, and belief in myself. I can’t thank her enough-
“Grace is a very caring & compassionate therapist who offers quality services to her clients. Highly recommended.”